Two weeks ago, when I met my treatment team at the Scripps MD Anderson Cancer Center, I felt great. I left that office optimistically giddy because “my Doctors had a game plan.” If you know me, you know I like plans and schedules. I find comfort in knowing my next steps. Ahh- but with age, motherhood and enough unexpected life circumstances, I've learned to be flexible and roll with it. After my diagnosis of cancer, there was a sense of relief when each of my Doctors wrote out their treatment bullet points. My Medical Oncologist, Breast surgeon and Radiation Oncologist were confident in their plan and I trusted them. Let's get this cancer out! Mastectomy? Let's go. Radiation? I’m ready. Hormone therapy.? You got it! But things are never that simple. Being in the medical field, I should have known better.
Up until that much-anticipated meeting, I had researched my diagnosis and the various treatment approaches extensively. Now, that their plan pretty much aligned with what I had researched, I was ready to be given a surgery date and time so they could get my "cancer out." I wanted a timeline right then and there so I could plan my life around this cancer thing. Of course, I didn't get any of that. I expected way too much. Beyond that beautifully written out plan, my doctors also wanted more testing to ensure that this course was indeed the right one. It was so much more than just the confirmation of the cancerous cells in my right breast or even the official diagnosis. They needed to know the depth of the disease process. That meant more blood work, genetic testing, X-rays, a brain MRI, a breast MRI and so on.
After the results started rolling in, things cascaded into follow up testing and re-testing. "Let's repeat that chest Xray to make sure that spot in your lung is not something to worry about." After my breast MRI, my breast surgeon told me that there was a suspicious axillary lymph node that had not been seen on my last ultrasound. A biopsy of it was recommended because the results could change my treatment plan. " We may need to add Chemotherapy." Okay. I add that potential variable into my plan.
Up until this point, the focus had been on the right breast where the 5.7cm tumor made its home. With my historically dense breast tissue and a known cancerous tumor in my right breast, they wanted to thoroughly evaluate my left breast too. During my appointment for my axillary lymph node biopsy, the Radiologist said: "We should do an ultrasound to make sure that everything is reassuring on that left side." Would you believe it? They discovered a solid mass. Although I was glad they were being thorough, I was like "seriously?" What are the chances? Ugh.
Today, I got the biopsy special. Plan for one, get two! Right axillary biopsy. Check! Surprise left breast biopsy. Check! Within three weeks, there had been a total of 12 tissue samples taken between my right breast, left breast and right axillary lymph node. Thank God for local anesthetic and ice packs. I am a human pincushion.
My next steps you ask? I wait for those results. I'm still learning to not look too far ahead. For me, right now, it's one day at a time.
