Hair today, gone tomorrow

As you may have read from a previous post, my brittle hair and sore scalp were bothering me the week post-chemo. My sweet friend Lara agreed to come over and give me a haircut. I invited my most boisterous girlfriends (including my baby sister) over to the house one Saturday morning. These women have my heart. They are supportive, encouraging, funny and loud. I didn't want to wallow in the self-pity of losing all my hair so I rallied for the support. I have never been timid about trying out different hairstyles in the past but this was different. I was about to get my shortest haircut ever, a buzz cut. Having loved ones around me made it feel more like a rite of passage and celebration than a mourning of cancer and hair loss. I was surrounded by love, laughter, and light and I needed all of it!

I wondered what my naked head would look like. Would it be big and bumpy? Uneven? Would I be pleasantly surprised at what was underneath?

With my circle of women and family watching me from the kitchen table, Lara draped my shoulders. Then, with a #1 guard attached to her clippers, she went straight to my scalp. I felt the warm buzzing sensation on my skin, it was all so surreal. Systematically, starting from the side of my head, Lara's clippers rolled across my tingling scalp in neat rows. I could see my hair falling in large highlighted bunches onto the tile floor. The rest was a blur. Some of my girlfriends "oohed and aahh'd." I heard "GI Jaide!" "Mohawk!" In under 22 minutes, my hair was gone! I hesitated to look into the mirror and just ran my nervous palms across my scalp. It was tingly and the remaining buzz felt like velvet. I took a good look at my reflection and I was pleased. I was like "Heeeyy-I like my head!" I felt good. I felt light. I felt free. I felt strong.

Its been a week since then. My family and I are getting used to my buzzed head. I'm starting to get a little "patchy" as the rest of my hair is falling out more. I have those mini crop circles that I feared but I'm okay. Getting ready in the morning is quick! No need for hair straighteners or hair products. I just put on some mascara, bright red lipstick, throw on some statement earrings and cover my noggin with a bright headscarf. Hair today, gone tomorrow! I'm gonna be okay!