Taxol, 2nd round down.

I've been struggling to get onto my computer to write my thoughts lately. Despite all the time on my hands, I can't get the creative juices going. I'm forgetful and have a hard time finding just the right words to express myself. I've heard cancer patients call it"chemo" brain, and it's extremely frustrating. On the brighter side (I can't believe I'm saying this), I just finished my 2nd of the 12 rounds of the drug Taxol. Ten more to go! What a world of difference compared to my experience with the Adriamycin/Cytoxan (AC) combo the first three months of my chemo treatment. So far, this feels way easier. I feel emotionally and physically stronger. The first 24 hours after chemo, I struggle with the jitters and insomnia because of the steroids they give me. I have minimal nausea, some fatigue by day 2 or 3, and the daily mild-moderate joint/bone pain. All of which are manageable. Since my third round of AC, my ovaries have shut down, and I've been experiencing DAILY menopausal "hot flashes" that starts in the afternoon and continues throughout the night every 20-25 minutes for 2 minutes (yes, the Nurse in me tracked it!) I carry a personal battery operated fan around with me in the house just for that reason. I laugh at how ridiculous I must look fanning myself frantically every 20 minutes, then covering myself up because of chills the next minute! Ahh, but I will take that over the post red devil nausea! I'm still struggling to keep my WBC count up. After my 2nd round of Taxol, they needed to start me on booster injections to get my bone marrow to produce more WBCs. This was sooner than my Oncologist had expected as I still have not reached the midway point of this treatment plan. Thankfully, I have not experienced any infections since chemo started. The "shelter in place" that still continues in California has protected me in that I'm pretty much staying home other than Doctor visits and chemotherapy. I pray I get through the next ten weeks infection and complications free! The messages and cards that continue to roll in really brighten my day. Thank you for all of your kind words, encouragement, prayers, and love! They bring me so much joy. When my spirits are down, I open up my box of cards/letters from you all and read them. They mean so much. During this downtime, I have had plenty of time to reflect on life and the things that are important. Even though this is undeniably a hard time, and my future is uncertain, I definitely have a sense of peace. I am not fearful or discouraged. I am thankful for each new day, and I welcome all the life lessons it brings. I'm taking note of all of it and allowing it to grow me. I plan on getting on the other side of this cancer stronger, wiser, and with a renewed sense of purpose and direction! Much love to you all--J